вторник, 7 октомври 2014 г.


It's early (and mostly sunny!) autumn again. But I don't enjoy it in the way I expected. Since last September everything has changed for me - with the death of my mum and my son going to university abroad! A double absence that I still can't get used to... This moment of the year enlarges the pain.

So... Here's my momentary portrait (through my eyes):

I AM suffering, missing, crying, waiting, often in a low spirit...
I FEEL tired, sad, confused in a way, but at the same time full of creative ideas and hope.
I think what I NEED is:
a change
a challenge
something new
work, work, work
more sleep
more energy
a nice movie
a friend's smile
a child's hug
everyday joy (if possible)
stimulating thoughts, not negative ones
to calm down
to go back to the past as rarely as possible
to look ahead
to listen to the others
to listen to myself
to eat less bread and cakes, more fruits and vegetables ;)
to drink more water
to finish reading the lovely books, brought specially for me from abroad
to fulfill my papercut ideas
to put on stage a new puppet show
a change

Love? I have it!:)

P.S. I crawled "out of my shell" to write all this...

21 коментара:

  1. Thank you!
    I am sorry I haven't noticed up till now that you are my follower...

  2. Sorry for the low times.
    Good medicine is always friends . . . nature . . . and something creative.

    1. Thank you! I have plenty of creative intentions.:) But what about friends and nature - I must be more active!

  3. it sounds like you know what would be good for you.
    sending love and light into your autumn ~

  4. Dear Rossi, it's very brave of you to crawl out of your shell. I think that IS a change, it is the beginning of something new. You are sad because of your mom and her death is still hurting, but you feel instinctively that it is time for the next stage and that is about you. You have to get your strength back.
    How long do we know each other? Two years? More? You allways work. You work with other people or for other people. I think you need a vacation. Sleep and read your books and try a papercut, just for fun. Be good to yourself.
    I have another idea: get a pet! A little furry kitten to sit on your lap :) I mean that. It's a good to have a new life to care for. But maybe this is impossible, and therefore I send you a moon full of smiles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I stand by you in my thoughts! You can do it! Love, Hedwig

    1. Dear Hedie, maybe I have crawled because I need to hear what other people (and friends!) think. Oh, I would love a vacation like that! This would be just perfect! Though, to be honest, I am a freelancer, which means that I don't have a firm working time and I do have free time... To have a pet? We've thought about that. We had a dog, that we loved very much, but had to separate with.It's a sad story. We are still not ready for another one. But we have a... turtle, who understands, reacts to voices and recognizes me!:D
      Thank you for being my friend!! Love! xox

    2. Haha, a turtle! That's good! What is his/her name?
      I remembered a line that helps me very much: It's not what's behind you, it's not whats in front of you, XXX

    3. Oh sorry! The punchline didn't make it!
      Here it is: It's what lies inside of you, THAT's important!
      Good luck and keep crawling, my friend.

    4. His name is Molcho (from Molly - we thought at first that "he" is a "she").
      I like all the quotes - the point is how to put them "into practice"?:)
      Thank you, my friend! Stay warm and happy!

  5. »I crawled "out of my shell" to write all this«
    This list above is a self-portrait we all need/should to do from time to time. I find myself in many of this. Maybe this “crawling out” is a kind of a small change? :)

    Be grateful. This helps. For all good things in your life. For the past, but especially for the present. For everything you have inside. For everything you have outside. For everything you are. For everything you wish for. Love. You have it. :) Nature. Enjoy it. Silence. Listen to it – there is everything in it.

    As far as I know you, I can easily say you are that kind of person, who knows how and where to find sparkles and who breathes life with heart (oh, and yes, also without metaphors: breathe!, remember to breathe … stop for a while, think nothing and just breathe, deeply, slowly … just 5 times a day for start can do miracles, seriously).

    When I see something beautiful, sometimes I think of you, how much you would like it! :)

    1. Oh, Maja, you touched me! To tears...
      I will take your advices. And share the result. One day...

      Thank you!!xox

  6. I had the a precaution, to copy my comment before sending it because I fear it disappears and really, that happened. I paste it here and again. if it appears twice, delete it, please.

    Each person is a world.
    It is a common saying in my country, I do not know others. And each person feels and suffers differently. what for you is much to others is nothing. Therefore it is very hard to give advice. and lately, I'm thinking that it's not so easy to give advice because what may be good for you is not for someone else ..
    But .... I can not handle my temper.....
    You say that you have love. This is a good point to begin to reverse your situation. Surely, some things never turn back (the death of your mother) But I do not understand why something that is irreversible, and that we know will happen, it's so hard to bear. Perhaps that's why there is love in our lives, for us to continue when one loves is no more, you lean in the other loves you have.
    Now, about your son. this is not a love that is no more, there is only away (you know that I know very well about that) and I think that once I said what i think about that. if my son is fine, I'm fine and happy, not matter the distance.
    Perhaps the Autumn increased your sensibilidad.
    Rossichka, dear, you need a new project in which to focus your energy.
    Whether it's something big or just something of yours, intimate, think of something new.
    You have love, Rossichka, you're a rich person!
    Now, your son is not a love that is no more, there is only away (you know that I know very well about that) and I think that once I said if my son is fine, I'm fine and happy, not matter the distance. Perhaps the Autumn, increased your sensibilidad.Rossichka, dear, you need a new project in which to focus your energy. Whether it's something big or just something of yours, intimate, think of something new. You have love, Rossichka, you're a rich person!
    Now, I imagine our life as a carousel, you're spinning, spinning, and someone offers you, the small ring for you to take (sorry, I do not know it name) and in another turn again, and so and so on ... and in one of the turns of the carousel, you take that ring, and on the next lap around the carousel, that person is not. you keep turning .... and have what that person gave you, for your whole life. Now, you offer the ring to someone else. You must give it with joy because the carousel keeps spinning!!!
    Rossichka im sure you have a lot of beautiful rings to give!!!! :)
    Im sending to you big kiss and warm hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Dear Roberto, I like the analogy with the carousel! I've never thought of life in that way (these rings, symbolizing what we can make for the ones we love and care, what we can leave them)...
    What about the other issues... There are serious reasons to take my mum's loss so hard, believe me. Maybe I will send you a mail.
    Thank you for your concern! Hugs from me, too!:)))

  8. I just came to say HI Rossichka its Friday!!!!! a new day over our small planet, Face it with a big smile!!!! And have a nice weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) ♥

  9. Hi! I've JUST come back from the opening of an exhibition, dedicated to the year of the Blue Horse. And, believe it or not, there were two carousels!! A small installation and a video projection! I took with my mobile photos for you, but I think they are not good, because it was very dark inside. World is small!:)
    Have a nice weekend, too!

  10. I'm passing trough a very particular moment too, I'm absent from by blog since so many months. Sometimes reality overhangs all of my desire to create, to make, to be positive... I agree with all the list you wrote and i'm close to you.

    Waiting for new awakenings and better situations, I embrace you and wish you a bright and serene autumn with big changes (for the better).
    See you soon,

    1. My dear Rosi, I'm sorry to hear that you've been passing through a difficult period! I wish you "better situations", too and a reviving force to change things for better! Let this autumn put the beginning!
      Hope that you have some happy moments with the kids!:)
      Big hugs with love! Thank you for your understanding and support!!

  11. Hi, dear Rossi. I came to wish you a good weekend, and I saw a previous comment of mine, and I saw an awful lot of words (which I did not dare to read now) and I thought, "how could I write so much?" have some sense all that amount of words? OH !!!!!!!! I apologize for writing so much! When, in fact, the most important thing, is to say. "You are my friend. you are in my heart".
    OK. I came to wish you a good weekend, and again I'm filling this commen with words!
    Have a nice weekend!!!! :)

  12. Hello, my friend! I love to read your words - no matter how much they are! We need to talk to each other and to have some kind of a "real" conversation, not just to say "hi!" and "bye!", that's why sometimes the amount of words is big... The point is what you want to tell me and whether your message reaches me. And it always does! For which I thank you!
    I hope you've had a nice Saturday and wish you to enjoy the Sunday!:)xx